I've been playing the guitar since the 8th grade and, actually, my first musical debut was finger picking The Beatles' "Yesterday" during a Young Women's Achievement Night. I stared at the music the whole time and didn't smile once. Later, I played "Brown Eyed Girl" at a Ward Talent Show. Didn't sing then either. I did con a couple friends into singing for me though, so it's not like I was just up there strumming awkwardly. Not like that at all...
I had a brief stint in a Christmas band but really, that's pretty much the bulk of my public performances until...well, there was karaoke at my friend's going away party a few years ago. I sang "Blue Christmas" in a key that was far too low for my voice. My friend, hiding in a corner behind me, responsible for the "Ooh ooh's" in the background, froze in the spotlight. Really, she just stood there. So I was left alone, cowering in the front while the DJ yelled at me to sing louder. It was a tribute to our friend and we failed miserably.
You can imagine, then, how flatly I declined when I was invited to play at an acoustic night earlier this month.
Flatly, flatly, flatly.
...on further consideration, however, I decided that 1) I should be able to accept what I can currently do without expecting it to be perfect and 2) I shouldn't be afraid to try to be more than I currently am.
So I resigned myself to fearfully facing fear.
There was actually a part of me that felt like once I got up to perform I would be all right. I would realize I knew what I was playing and decide that I didn't care what people thought anyway.
Wrong. I was very, very wrong.
I sat down under icicle lighting, arranged my instrument, and looked out into a vast army of menacing strangers. I made a joke about castanets that nobody understood and promptly broke into a feverish sweat. Then I started playing.
I now present to you my measly efforts: (Please by kind, you're actually watching trauma unfold.)
Next stop: posting videos of solo performances in my bedroom on YouTube.
9 comments:
Dear Laura,
You don't have a bigger fan than me. I have a poster of you taped in the drivers seat of my van. You read right, I sit on it when I drive. You're all I listen to, those 2 songs over and over. At acoustic night I wanted to come and say hi, but those lightning bolt lights kept me away. Dang weather. Please play at other venues, I'll track (hunt?) you down every time.
Freddy Fan Fan (x10)
Bravo! Bravissimo! Encore! Hallelujah! Encore! Morals!
Lohra! Well done. I feel like it was just last month when you refused to play and sing. Oh wait. That was last month. Moving on. Next time, sing an original. I'll sing harmony.
Well done, although a Neil Young number might have served you better. "Its only castles burning...."
Laura, you're awesome!! miss ya :)
Pretty sure that Neil Young song doesn't even serve HIM well...
Laura,
I just love you to pieces!
Uncle Scott
A bit late on this? Perhaps. However, you're amazing! Wonderful! Magnificent! And I absolutely ADORED hearing you. Honestly. You impress me daily. Hourly. Heck, what am I saying? Secondly (as in every second, not as in after firstly)!
La La La La La La La Bamba is such a crowd pleaser...but I enjoyed your picks as well. Way to sing and play and be talented!
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