Confessions of a tortured soul.

It took me a long time to be a normal kid. I didn't wear my hair in a ponytail until my Sophomore year of high school, makeup didn't come until college, and I still struggle with a mild stutter. In the midst of such stunted progress I somehow managed to do what all the cool kids do their Senior year of high school: go to Cancun for Spring Break.

I was a little wary, of course. It wasn't really my scene...but I was not going to let that stop me. Instead, I felt the need to do a little preparatory work. You know, as a deterrent to death. The weird thing is my parents were ok with it. More than ok--it was their idea. I mean, who was I fooling? We all know what happens there...you get a tan.

So I did it. I subjected my body to the harshness of man-made UV's. Ten times. I'll admit, there's something soothing about it. The smell of baking flesh. The timed warmth of your plastic coffin. Those cool Star Trekky goggles... It's not like I put a playboy bunny sticker on my hip.

Nope. Instead, I went to Cancun and got a henna tattoo. One blazing sun around my navel.

...and I wore really skimpy clothes. Oh the frivolous days of youth.

A few of my favorite things.

It doesn't involve shnitzel and noodles, but it does include fitting the word "shnitzel" in a song...among other things:

-Planning any trip with Stef. It's always a little bit rash and REALLY exciting.
-One night in Greece McCall and I were sharing a room and we laid on our backs with our swollen feet on the headboards looking at pictures and videos we had taken of the trip so far. We laughed so hard we cried...then we laughed until we couldn't breathe. It was awesome.

-Deep meaningful conversations. They make me shiver with subdued glee.
-Puppy chow...or muddy buddies depending on how cool you are.
-Sharing something with someone and having them love it as much as you do.
-Staying up late playing games with my family. It's tradition.
-Making people laugh in such a way that you know you've said something truly funny.

-A good snowfall where everything looks like a powdery sugar wonderland.-Getting so into a book that you stop taking care of your personal hygiene and just lay around and read in your pajamas all day.

-When Kristin tries to imitate an accent and you're never quite sure which one it's supposed to be.
-Wintergreen Lifesavers. My one addiction.
-Pleasant surprises. Like when my family went paintballing and my mom got really into it. Or when someone takes the time to care.-Impressing someone I admire.
-Playing in the rain.

Yeah...so if you're looking for ways to make me happy...turns out you can't really control most of these but...uh...if you loved me you'd find a way.

Oh Mr. Moon.

Remember childhood? I don't. Not really anyway. Recently I was asked if I was a bossy older sister...and I didn't really have an answer. Whether it's because I naturally think the best of myself or because I honestly had no recollection I cannot say. So I polled my brothers and sisters. Granted, I told them that if they said yes I would rip their faces off so their answers may have been a little skewed...

Nevermind that.

There's this song my mom used to sing when I was young and I absolutely loved it. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized what the song was actually saying:

"Oh Mr. Moon, Moon, bright and shiny moon,
won't you please shine down on me.
Oh Mr. Moon, Moon, bright and shiny moon,
there's a man behind the tree.
There's a man behind you with a big shotgun!
Your life's in danger so you better run.
Oh Mr. Moon, Moon, bright and shiny moon,
won't you please shine down on me."

Yeah...can you imagine? I can't believe it didn't give me nightmares. Maybe it didn't because it's a little unclear as to what's really happening. Is the scary man coming after me, the harmless little child mothers sing this song to? Is he shooting the moon? Is he playing hearts? What's going on here?

I don't know...but I do know it's not going to stop me from singing it to my children someday.

"Oh Mr. Moon, Moon..." Creeeeeeepy.