Ah, music.

For a girl who didn’t know that New Kids on the Block existed until they were old news I feel like I’ve really come into my own. During my angst-filled pre-teen years that lasted well into college I bought my first cd: “Let Your Dim Light Shine” by Soul Asylum (remember Runaway Train?). I felt like I could really connect with their song “Misery.”

Later, I discovered (and fell in love with) Fuel before they became big. I learned all the words to 2Pac’s “Changes” during my rap phase Senior year of High School…until I realized I shouldn’t be listening to music that swears and clean rap is not good rap. Soon after, I had a quarter-life crisis and started borrowing punk music from my younger brothers and sisters. I even created my own genre and a series of 9 cds filled with “Semi-Soft Alternative” hits from bands like Jimmy Eat World, Good Charlotte, and Dashboard Confessional. After slowing it down even more I am now into Indie music with the best of Utah.

I guess it’s apparent that I go through music like…I was going to say clothes but I only get new clothes when my mom comes to visit--about once a year. I’m always on the lookout for new music, on the other hand. I will love, love, love a song or an artist for awhile until I discover something new and different and then I’ll love, love, love that for awhile. Rinse, wash, repeat. Usually this process only takes a few months or so and all the while I’ll collect music I enjoy but may not absolutely love. So, despite having what I consider selective music tastes, I currently own 5 1/2 days worth of songs. Which is good because, if possible, I will have music playing all the time--in the car, doing homework, watching tv…

Anyway, I started to wonder if there was any music that has withstood the test of time--songs that I’ve loved and will continue loving ‘til nearly forever. Of course there are artists that I grew up listening to that will retain a special place in my collection--Elton John, The Beatles, and Phil Collins to name a few--but are there songs that I go back to time and time again? Not really...but there are some, even if just for sentimentality. So I’ve collected a few for your listening pleasure. The last two are songs I'm loving right now (subject to change in the next few weeks or so).

[Embers and Envelopes, Shimmer, Boy With a Coin, Sweet Dream, Arc of Time, Life Uncommon, Soldier's Daughter, Two Points for Honesty, High and Dry, So Long So Long, Nothing Better]

Calling all dreamers.

Apparently you're all mystified as well (thank you, Chelsi, for indulging me). No matter, I have something else that will hopefully be easier for you to help me with.

Currently, I have nothing to do this summer, which is great for 19 year olds but less great for people striving for adulthood--you know, a life devoid of carefree irresponsibility. Since it is what it is, I thought I should at least attempt to take full advantage while it's here. So if you found yourself jobless, school-less, and hapless, what is the one thing you would want to do out of anything?

Rule #1: It can't be very costly. Remember, I'm jobless.
Rule #2: I will not make a large kitty head out of paper mache and ride around the neighborhood so don't even suggest it.
Rule #3: It can't have anything to do with actually taking care of yourself, e.g., job searching, spring cleaning...you know, boring things.

In fact, chances are I won't actually do any of them. So far I've spent my time watching inane tv shows, reading outside, and thinking about cleaning my house. I don't really see why that should change at all...BUT if you have a dream that interests me I will fulfill it and then write about it so you know just how awesome or not awesome your dream actually is. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Got it? Good. Now go at it.

School's out for the summer!

Now that finals are over and I have a whole summertime of relaxation ahead of me I thought it appropriate to start reading a book entitled “A Short History of Nearly Everything.” Well, sub-titled really. The actual title is a picture of Earth from space. In it the author, Bill Bryson, discusses the Big Bang—the supposed creation of the universe—and soon I shall begin to wax theologian, but first, he says:

“You will need to gather up everything there is-every last mote and particle of matter between here and the edge of creation-and squeeze it into a spot so infinitesimally compact that it has no dimensions at all. It is known as a singularity…

It is natural but wrong to visualize the singularity as a kind of pregnant dot hanging in a dark, boundless void. But there is no space, no darkness. The singularity has no “around” around it. There is no space for it to occupy, no place for it to be…

And so, from nothing, our universe begins.

In a single blinding pulse, a moment of glory much too swift and expansive for any form of words, the singularity assumes heavenly dimensions, space beyond conception…In less than a minute the universe is a million billion miles across and growing fast. In three minutes, 98 percent of all the matter there is or will ever be has been produced. We have a universe.”

Can someone please explain to me how people can believe such astounding theories and not only flatly deny but mock the existence of a divine and omnipotent being who is from eternity to all eternity? As if believing in God is any more ludicrous than the thought that our universe began from a space one billionth the size of a proton (500 billion of which could fit in the dot of this “i”) and that “at some indeterminate point in the very distant past, for reasons unknown, there came the moment known to science as t=0.” The moment when the universe so circumstantially and amazingly coincidenced. How is the idea that you exist because of “timely extraterrestrial bangs and other random flukes” at all satisfying—more satisfying than the idea that there is a being out there powerful enough to displace a whole mountain range on your head but loving enough to instead create a world for you? I’m not saying that the Big Bang is a big bust; I merely tend to think these things more readily confirm instead of disprove the existence of a divine orchestrator. Preaching to the choir, I know, I just remain completely mystified.

I feel like I’ve just written in to a help column. “Please advise.

--Utterly Befuddled in Utah.”

Oh gosh.

It is Saturday...and it's rainy...and I am SO bored!!! I feel like one of those little kids--shoulders hunched, pouty-lipped, hands dragging on the floor--wandering around the house complaining about how there's absolutely nothing to do. Of course...there are plenty of things to do but all of them responsible and none of them pleasant.

I don't even have anything to write about. I could tell you how I bought Fiddler on the Roof the other day for $5. Not because I have ever enjoyed it but because I have a need to prove I've grown up and now enjoy all things cultural--the same compulsion driving my desire to attend the symphony, I think.

Or I could tell you about how my first year of school is almost over and I have no motivation to study for my finals. Is it bad that I'm already tired of school? Only 3 more years to go...hard to believe. True nonetheless. It turns out engineering is easier than archaeology...or maybe the U just can't measure up to BYU. Though, it may have something to do with the fact that tests are easy when the professors allow you to bring in cheat sheets. Being brilliant doesn't hurt either. Neither does having a crush on your lab partner. It provides great motivation to do homework...constantly. Too bad that's over.

In the spirit of continued randomness, Mother's Day is coming up. Since I don't have any kids of my own and since I rarely give my mom anything for this holiday...she lives so far away, you see, I thought I'd post a few pictures in tribute and write three lengthy paragraphs on how my mom can beat up your honor student. Which is true...but I'm not going to write about it. If I happen to catch it on video, though, I'll be sure to post it on YouTube.