And thus begins the dance. Pretty soon people will stop calling to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and they'll start saying, "I'm sorry...how are you?" And it seems as if, in accordance with such attitudes, I've become more and more blase about this - 'my day'. As if all those years of pajama parties and gift bags wore me out. As if I've had so much attention in the past that I'm tired of it. I claim that all I want is to do something low-key with my friends.
But...I don't.
In all honesty, I want something different. I don't want my birthday to be an everyday. It's embarrassing to admit but, for some reason, I couldn't sleep last night...and I woke up early. Apparently my pre-birthday is some sort of narcissistic Christmas Eve for me. The indifferent attitude never meant that I stopped caring. Believe me, I want the attention. I want it bad. It's just more difficult to get when your parents aren't organizing parties and people stop feeling obligated to buy you presents. Either that or as an adult, it starts feeling a little petty - like we should be above thinking much of ourselves. And I don't feel entitled to a celebration. I know I've done nothing out of the ordinary. I've survived another year, which may sometimes seem like an accomplishment...if you escaped Nazi Germany...or you live in West Valley. I don't expect lavish gifts or large brouhahas (mostly because no one is really sure what those are). I don't want much from you. You don't need to start calling me pet names like the email I got from Amazon.com this morning (Dear La-Lohlo? I'm sorry...what?) I just want you to be glad I've lived because, heaven knows, I'm glad I've lived. I am glad, glad, glad.
So today, I fully admit that I care, and now, I'm going to celebrate.
8 comments:
I care! My name is Emily and I care!!! Happy birthday, Smoopey (take THAT, Amazon!)!! I'm glad you're alive! If you come to my house sometime...I will make you food.
Dude, it's your birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I'm so glad you're not ashamed to admit it. I'm totally a believer that your birthday is a big deal and should be acknowledged by all. Not necessarily with gifts or anything, mostly just a lot of fat "Happy Birthday's" and telling you that you are great. I think you are great!!!
I am the same way and I am WAY older than you. Happy birthday!
you go, lalorla or whatever amazon said! i have to admit that when it's my birthday, subconsciously i'm assuming that everybody somehow knows about it, and are secretly having a better day, just because of me. and even though i'm getting "up there" in years, i still feel like that little 9 year old that wanted to be surprised all day long, and be treated extra special. i really feel that everybody deserves to have an amazing birthday, every year. i blame it on my parents for giving me awesome birthdays when i was growing up.
happy birthday (two days late) laura!! you rock. you are an amazing person. i know your birthday was two days ago, but you are so wonderful, that for you it should last at least through the weekend. i miss you and wish we could share more fun memories with each other; you seriously make me wet my pants with laughter. love ya!
Is it overboard to want the world to celebrate my birthmonth or at least my birthweek? Hey, it's March, let's be nice to Laura.
Happy belated birthday!!! I loved your post, you are such an incredible writer. You just say it all so well. What a talent, that I wish I had! Hope you had a great day. I hope you got some brouhahas :)
Yeah! Happy Birthday quite a few days late! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I am making my sisters go to Vegas with me on my birthday. I might even wear a hat indicating it is, in fact, my birthday. I hear you get free drinks in Vegas when you do that (they check your license to make sure you aren't lying...and that you are old enough to drink).
I have no idea what I'll do with all that free alcohol! But it will be my birthday, dammit, so everyone around me is sure as hell gonna know about it.
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