What's your name again?

Monday was the press conference at which the LDS church announced their new president and his counselors. It was held in the lobby of the Church Office Building just outside the East wing (the one I work in). In fact, they closed our wing from 10-12:30 so there wouldn't be any foot traffic. They did allow patrons to stay in the library, however. So from 10-11:00 I delivered items requested from the stacks and from 11-12:00 my coworkers and I gathered around a computer to watch the press conference live on the internet. I'm not sure how 'live' a 5-minute delay is but...let's not argue semantics right now.
Without going into too much detail and potentially revealing super secret security issues of which I have absolutely no knowledge of--torture would be futile--let me paint a picture. The General Authorities use our elevators from time to time when they need to access the auditorium on the main floor. Monday was no different. Since these elevators are right outside the Church History Library and since I was delivering to said library from 10-11:00 and since that was right before the press conference I had high hopes of spotting some GA's. It's difficult to lurk down there without being too obvious so I was trying to time things just right...without really being able to time things at all.

Around 10:30 I went down to the library glancing at which floor the elevator was on and made a concerted effort to slow my urgent feet. I completed my assigned task and pushed myself back through the heavy glass door of the library. Ding. The door to the elevator assigned to the GA's was opening. My face broke out in an exultant smile, choirs of angels rejoiced, and a trumpet sounded triumphantly. Success.

I stood there awkwardly, staring, as Elder Perry, Elder Uchtdorf, and Elder Nelson filed into the hallway in front of me. A year ago I would have stared at my feet and tried to blend into my surroundings. Now that I'm a veteran GA spotter, however, I've learned how to stop pretending like either they or I don't exist. I smiled and shyly said hi, waiting for them to march off with the security guard so I could run upstairs and shout hosannas from the rooftops.

Before I knew what was happening, Elder Perry walked right up to me and shook my hand saying enthusiastically, "Good morning! How are you doing today?" Moments like this--like the time my car was hurtling towards a cement barrier at 80 mph, when everything happens so fast--don't give you time to take everything in. They certainly don't give you time to compose yourself into a normal and rational human being. I don't remember looking Elder Perry in the face. I do remember not being sure where to look--as I think most would feel when suddenly overwhelmed by apostles. I remember thinking Elder Uchtdorf's face looked a little red. I also remember saying something but I can't recall what that was.

Elder Perry then said something to the effect of, "It's nice of you to show up today," the meaning of which I have yet to figure out. I glanced at Elder Uchtdorf, unsure whether or not I should look for a handshake from him as well. He didn't disappoint. Elder Uchtdorf kindly greeted me and shook my hand. I made eye contact with Elder Nelson, hesitantly expectant. He didn't make a move. Perhaps emboldened by their friendliness, perhaps refusing to leave anyone out, perhaps merely acting impulsively, I extended my hand to Elder Nelson and quietly mumbled..."Hi Elder Hales."

They went their way, I continued to stare, a goofy smile plastered on my face. I skipped up the stairs like a rock on water, my feet barely touching the steps. I replayed the scene a hundred times in my head. It was then that I realized...Nelson! It was Elder Nelson! I had just called one of the Lord's anointed by the wrong name. The triumphant trumpet abated and the angels hid their faces in shame. I promptly told everyone I knew. My only consolation is that I spoke quietly enough that neither he nor his colleagues realized what I was saying. After all, it took me about 15 minutes to process.

Seriously, one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Second only to the time I...well, nevermind.